College Life ROCKS. !?? Seriously ?. Think. Think again.

Its been quite a long time, but i am back on writing shit.
Sorry. I have been writing but i didnt post anything. So i am back posting shit.
I have my exams going on. They have been going on for a month now. And they will be going on for a month  more. So i cannot cull anything but force myself to study or maybe pretend that i am studying.

The lyrics of the song "Feel this moment" by my favorite Pitbull echoing in my mind.
One day when the light is glowing
I’ll be in my castle golden
But until the gates are open
I just wanna feel this moment (ohhh)
I just wanna feel this moment (ohhh)
I just wanna feel this moment.

Well i love this song. But GHANTA FEEL THIS MOMENT.


Its such a snafu going on. All of us are frustrated with the college. The monotonous boring schedule has made our brains hate our college so much that we want a break. Well no one wants to attend college these days. Everyone wants off. Maybe thats because of the scorching heat that takes all our juice from our body or maybe that we dont wanna study or maybe we are tired of seeing the same people everyday ! Is it really ?. Possible but lame. !!

Well who knows. But the irony in the situation is so much idiotic. We all are yearning for vacations and freedom from these dungeon classrooms and hostels, BUT deep down we all know that the vacations will be the worst part. What will we all do for 2 months ? How will we spend these days ? Are we gonna sit idle and screw ourselves or are we going to do something ? If something  then what thing ??
Again, no one knows. But all i know is that people are restless. Me included.

For a start, lets not think about the vacations or the exams. Think whats missing. Think of the things that you want to do that may give you head start from others in your college. Try innovating projects and courses that you have a smallest idea could benefit you some or the other way. Stop criticizing the college, stop crying for boring days. Make your life interesting your own way. Make a bucket list consisting of all the wildest, weirdest , craziest, but productive, intellectual courses, things, projects, jobs that you can do in coming time.
At the end of the day, you dont want to regret wasting an awesome number of days in a fruitful way.
Dont keep dreaming about whangdoodles or wining about the lamest things around you.

Discover the things you can do.
Explore your potential.
Express it in any way that you can.
Hence i end up with the words of the same song that i started with.
Feel the moment. Feel the moment. Just feel it.

The D' Factor (part 2). !!

###Coming soon.

Appologies (2)

Sorry for the delays.
I was busy with some serious stuff so was not able to update the blog.
But i missed writing. So here i am.
inconvenience regretted. 

Calamity !

A high tide floods the sea shores and demolish the creatures staying inside the shores. It wipes out all the happiness and life process occurring at that place.

February, for me was this high tide. And it was a colossal one.

My Grandpa was not well. He slipped and fell down and got hurt in his head. Internal brain bleeding leading to minor brain stroke and lack of confidence in his gate made him he lose his hope in life. A risk of partial paralysis because of displacement of vertebrae made all the family members anxious. He was also suffering from dementia that resulted in him not recognizing me and anyone in the house. He started mixing present with past and ruined his sleeps.
He was admitted to fortis hospital on 1^st Feb. I had my End Semester Exams going on. I used to give the exam and rush back to home. I used to stay with dadaji in the hospital and sleep beside him praying for him to recover. During day I used to study and during night, I used to attend doctors in the room . I used to lie down on the bed and keep staring at my fragile motionless grandpa. No sooner did he move a bit than I rushed and call the nurse.
This schedule carried on for a week with a sign of no recovery.
My exams got over on 9^th Feb and I was ready for some holidays.
Every night I slept at the hospital. But the night of 14^th Feb was not a similar one.
Dadaji murmured my name. I went close to him and he looked into my eyes. I asked him if he was ok and he smiled and replied affirmative. I came back to my bed and sat down and saw him take a long breadth. That was his last breadth.
I became hyper and rushed and called the nurses. Assistant doctors came and asked me to move out. The nurse removed the kada in dadaji’s hand and handed it to me as they required an empty arm. A team of 10 people entered the room and 2 people started thumping his chest. I peeked through the door and saw the rush inside the room. I was heartbroken. At 3 am in the morning, I called my dad and burst out in tears.
The world came to an end for me for that instant. I lost the track of time and place and everything around me.
The following days were full of the rituals and ceremonies which I hate the most and following nights were sleepless and irritating.
I miss him badly. I cant imagine how I will stay in the same room considering that the person who used to sleep with me will never come back.
I love him. And I will always remember him.
 

Express, Explore and Enjoy

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” - Prince Gautama Siddharta

So many things happened in past few weeks. I try recalling everything i did and everything happened and a smile automatically appears on my face. I enjoyed every moment of being me. I might have done some stupid things as well but I have no regrets. So this one is about enjoying every moment to its fullest.

Express.

We think allot. We think about futile things and burden ourselves with grudges against other people. We get irritated or offended by some things said by other people and we keep it to ourselves in order not to 'get into a fight'. We dont let things out of our mind and carry the load everywhere every time with us. This, as a matter of fact, degrades our ability to enjoy the present because, our mind is pre-occupied with other thoughts, and those thoughts, which are about a person who doesn't even know that he or she might have offended you. So WHY EVEN CARRY THOSE THOUGHTS when they are just useless !!
Although you try avoiding a fight or an argument but it only degrades you and no one else.
And thus, Expressing things and solving grudges timely is very important.
You keep some grudge against one person and you dont express it. Then some other person bothers you and you dont express that either. A Third person bothers you and you keep that grudge inside your brain.
Eventually it accumulates and keeps on entering the 'hide it' part of your brain. Then, one day, you get so frustrated that you blast out everything on some person who doesn't even deserve to be your punching bag.
But that punching bag is your real friend.
So, we can compare the 'hide it' part our brain as a volcano. Activities keep on occurring, heat keeps accumulating and eventually it blasts resulting in undesirable results. Hence, it is necessary to keep solving your grudges from time to time. Talk to people about it. Express yourself to avoid blasting over others.

Explore.We are satisfied with our lives just as the way we get it. We just move with the crowd. We dont experience new things, make new friends, find our pros , explore life. We are satisfied with our limited scope in life. We dont want to leave our Comfort Zone.In order to explore ourselves, we need to step out og the comfort zone. Leave the everyday life aside and do something new. Try extraordinary things. Make new friends. Find a way to please yourself. Do wild things. Just forget about the everyday things and find other possibilities of life.

Don't enter your circle of life untill you have quenched the thirst of being you. Explore Life. Its worth living.

Enjoy
Accomplishing the above two tasks, you will find yourself much more happier. Just dont be scared to do things. Words like 'regret' and 'guilt' are worth ignoring. If you are scared to take an action and you feel that it would be a mistake, then the best way to know if its a mistake or not is to DO IT. If it results in something undesirable then it was a mistake and you learn a lesson and never repeat it. If it results in something you wanted to happen, even then you learn a lesson !!

Express Yourselves
Explore Yourselves
Enjoy Yourselves

P.S. I thank Mahak Maini for her idea of comparing things for explanations and adding sketches and Palac Chhabra, Surbhi Saini and Abhijit Singh for some other things.

The Lesson

You meet a person one day, just like you met so many others, without realizing that THIS person will soon become one of the most important part of your life.While for some, one small conversation is enough confirmation. This is how we make a FRIEND. (Considering the friend a "he" just for convenience). One shared incident and you understand that you've finally found someone with the same mentality as you, Same principles but very different choices. Every time you both talk, you realize more and more how similar thoughts and feelings you share. There comes a time when you get so attached that you cannot imagine that person in any other way. You have your share of joy, craziness, late night chats, teasing and of course, care! Oh and those unforgettable pranks!

And now, you sit here reading this post thinking about that one friend you had, smiling as you recall everything. And now the smile fades away, because now you remember what happened next- the Reality. How you threw him out of your friend list hoping this would throw him out of your mind too. But did it? NO, it only threw him out of your life. Haven't talked to him for months, maybe years.Now you know nothing about what he's upto, which feels weird because you still remember the time that you knew every detail of every minute of his life! Now you see how blind you were when others warned you about him.  Do you Regret it all now? 

DON'T.

People come into your life for 2 reasons:

1. To stay.

2. To give you a precious lesson in life. A lesson that you would never have learnt without their help. 

I know its sad to be lied to, to be used or to be betrayed.People come, and people go. Forgive him. Well, don't if you don't want to. But he fooled YOU. YOU!! He had something in him didn't he? At least give him credit for that! And I'm sorry to break this news to you, but that person probably doesn't even think about you or the friendship you shared. Had he cared, he would have tried to make up by now. Its hard to forget those little things, especially the ones that come after the big blow : The awkward silence. The turning around when you see him just to avoid eye contact. The moment you tried to convince yourself into forgiving him but failed. But you know what? You don't even have to forget them. These memories are just like Scars. Scars are a constant reminder of your careless mistakes that triggered the accident and prevent you from repeating them! Every person that leaves your life teaches you something. I learnt to never show that you care. What did you learn?

LIFE

Life is complicated, Life is cruel.

Happiness or sorrow, who wins the dual?

Its always a draw,

'Cuz you never saw

What everyone thought was obvious.

How many of you understood the meaning of these lines? NO, I'm not taking a literature class! I'm just overwhelmed today. So lets do this. I'l ask you 2 questions. Answer them in your mind. DO NOT read past the question until you have an answer in your mind.

Q1. Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd do anything to get it, and you realize that there's nothing you can do?

So, you have an answer. I don't know what it is, but I know that most of the answers are " I want her to love me the way I do" or "The perfect face/dress/body". Do you even realize how unimportant all this is? Love, NO. But the craving for someone to love you, (in most cases) YES : Unimportant. Its all temporary. Just a phase. There are so many important things to worry about. Think about a girl, a loved one of who is suffering from an incurable disease.That is a typical case. Think of that one moment when after hours of convincing yourself  "I DID THE RIGHT THING", you realize that you've made the biggest mistake of your life. Forgiveness is all you can wish for. These are the moments when you close your eyes and fold your hands in prayer like a 5 year old kid. THAT is when you understand how unimportant other things are.

Q2. When was the last time you felt Loved, completely satisfied with your life?

For those who have their last date in mind, BITCH PLEASE! :-P  Everyone feels happy and satisfied with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Think of a better answer. The best feeling in this world in when your younger brother wakes up in the middle of the night, notices you crying and even in that " half-asleep" mode tells you that everything will be fine, Hugs you and sleeps right there.TRUST ME. #TheBestFeelingEver. I remember reading this somewhere "LOVE is not what you feel. It is what you do."

So this is what I meant by these huge paragraphs : Life is so much more than you can imagine. Your feelings of Love, hatred, heartbreak, satisfaction and guilt are going to change when you realize how intense they can actually be. So stop worrying about Every Damn Thing!!Be happy, because its not the Worst that could happen to you. STAY CALM AND "AAL IZ WELL".

JUDGED .!

We girls face a risk. NO, i'm not here to talk about the recent rape cases ( I have nothing new to say. Everything has already been said.). I'm here to talk about the risk of being constantly judged on the basis of stereotypes. Every girl in her teens and well, beyond, is judged every single second of being in a public place. This is what he appearance suggests (according to lame and judgmental weirdos ) when she walks through a door.

• Pretty ,very well dressed, not smiling :  Fashion conscious. Dumb. Aware of her beauty and rude.
• Pretty, very well dressed, smiling at everyone : Fashion conscious. Dumb. Flirtatious. Single.
• Pretty, wearing a skirt/ shorts : bimbo. slutty.
• Pretty, badly dressed : No fashion sense. Average in everything.
• Not too pretty, very well dressed : Trying to compensate. Attention seeker.
• Not to pretty, normally dressed : Nerd. "I don't care".

WHY? Why does this happen? Do the looks say it all? Its not only the boys, but the girls too judge other girls. If a girl has a lot of male friends, "Eww. Such a slut." And if she doesn't talk to boys, "That girl sooo needs to get over herself!".  What I don't understand, is how can you judge someone when you don't even know them! No, I need an answer. Does every good looking girl have to be dumb? BLONDES! Okay, lets not talk about blondes. :p But seriously guys! Whats with these cliches? 

Just tell me a few characteristics that a girl should have to fall in the category of simple, not-dumb and decent. Should she be good looking or not? Make male friends or not? Wear branded clothes or not? Smile at you or not? WHAT do you want?! I see no fault in wearing pretty clothes in order to look nice! And what the hell could be wrong in making new friends? And I personally don't talk to a lot of people! Just for the record,  I am not full of myself. See, I broke your cliche. And trust me, every girl that you know breaks one. She is way too different from what you think she is. So grow up! Stop finding a trait in every single action and mind your own business.

#TiredOfBeingJudged

The Theory .

“If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. ”

Thinking, results in some awful results as well as some great results.
Pondering over my old experiences and the recent happenings i came out with a theory.

~FUTILITY OF EXPECTATIONS~

I believe that expecting things from any one, any thing, any time, any how and any place is really a waste of time, effort and energy. Expectations are something that keep a person's brain occupied and later the result hurt you or make you happy for a short while or doesn't even matter. You all might have thought over the postulates of this theory but i kinda gathered them.
The postulates are

• - Just dont expect anything from anyone as expectations make you think and think without any reason, wasting your time and energy.Why should a person waste time in thinking over things that are not happening or have not happened. All of us are familiar with the lines 

Past is a history,
Future being a mystery.
Enjoy life, because,
Present is a gift.

• - Expectations can be another form of killing the mystery of whats present in the future.

• -Expectations ruin your surprise element.

 For example, if you are expecting good marks in exam and you think about how much you will get and how much you should get, you are expecting. When the result comes out, and you score good marks, thats it, you are not happy because you already expected such marks. There was no fun and no surprise because u just got what in your brain u wanted..
Another example, if you like someone and like talking and spending time with that person, then, when you are idle and pondering over, you expect spending some quality time with that person. You expect talking to that person and you fantasize things. When you finally meet the person, time is spent and talking is done as expected. no fun and no surprises at all.

• -Expectations always, consistently and invariably HURT you.

For example, if you are expecting good marks in exam and you think about how much you will get and how much you should get, you are expecting. When the result comes out, and you score very low marks or you dont get what you expected, you are broken. You are hurt. You feel sad and terrible about not getting what you planned.
Another example, if you like someone and like talking and spending time with that person, then, when you are idle and pondering over, you expect spending some quality time with that person. You expect talking to that person and you fantasize things. When you meet the person and time passes by and you realize that the conversation is not up to your expectations. Things dont happen according to what you thought. You are irritated because the person is not doing what you expected. Your feelings get hurt. You all are familiar with the consequences.

• -Expectations are futile, they may never make you happy but they can doubtlessly make you sad. 

Why should a person do something in which his time and energy is wasted. ?!

• -Expecting things from people is even worse. You have no idea what a person is upto and whats going on in his/her brain but still you fantasize the actions or the next doing of that person. Thats so useless.

The above 6 postulates clearly conclude the reasons why one should not expect stuff to happen.
And hence, we get the result for Futility of Expectations.

The source of this hardcore thinking are some conversations with my immediate friends Jaskaran Singh (laala), Mannila Sandhu (shin chan), Abhijit Sngh (senti) and Surbhi Saini(subbo or paplu)
You guys have tried allot to make me stop expecting, but sorry, this aint happening .

PS. I feel like Einstein after proposing such theory. Also, its a hypothisus. Your views and experiences matter to make it an official THEORY.

Expectations...!!!

A man begins to die when he ceases to expect anything from anyone or from himself.|

I care for people allot. I feel attached to my friends too much. I want to always hear from them. I think too much for that matter of fact.
This characteristic comes to me from my dad. He too is too much over concerned about me.
This characteristic rocks actually. I am satisfied that my friends are ok.
 But the catch point is

DO OTHERS KNOW THAT YOU CARE FOR THEM SOO MUCH ??
Do they know your worth ?
Do they return the same ?
Do they love you as much as you do ?
DO THEY KNOW THAT YOU EXPECT SOMETHING FROM THEM  ??

Expectations. LOL.

They plague your daily life, causing you to be irritable, disappointed, and disillusioned. Many times they lead you to say unkind words, act unskillfully, or make poor decisions. Expectations turn up in many forms - from what we expect of ourselves to what others expect of us and we of them. You may have high, low, or even negative expectations. You also have large expectations and thousands of small expectations that arise in your life every day. Your large expectations have their own unique expression but are the result of the common strivings every human undergoes. As you learn to free yourself from these larger expectations, you can start to notice the smaller ones and not allow them to define your daily experience. You may expect that certain efforts will yield desired results, or believe you can be in control of your life, or be totally convinced that the so-called good life must have particular components.

Well, the answers to the above questions is undetermined. The truth is that people dont even bother about you. Its just your fantasy that makes you think that if you care for people people will do the same damn thing for you too. Its just a fantasy.
Ingratitude is the best proof that makes you realize that you are fantasizing and not nurturing the truth.

Its not that i want to involve myself to other peoples' lives, its just that i follow the policy that says that criticism is the best way to success. If no one will point out the flaws and the wrong actions of a person, then how will that person understand about the consequences ?.!!
I am not a sneak peek in others lives, instead i want everyone to be close to being an awesome person..
I have people around me that do understand what i try to do and what i think. Their brain frequencies luckily match with mine.
And some of my friends just dont get it. They get offended easily with anything i say. I am tired of clarifications so please dont expect any more from my side.

Just same courtesy is expected back from friends but it seldom happens.
Just an appreciation and an informal quote of gratitude is expected and that seldom happens.
Just giving a reaction and responding is expected and some people give zero.
Just the removal of insecurity is expected and some do but others dont.
Just a grudge removal discussion (GRD ) is expected and people dont spit things out and keep some differences.
Just tolerating the flaws of each others is expected and people get offended by a slightest comment passed.
Just a commitment of long term friendship is expected and i get it from most of them.
Just a sense of mutual trust is expected and this is rarely received.

Thus, when i expect things from people, i dont expect a materialistic projection, i expect that they should not feel that i am intruding or that i suck or that i criticize or may be that i think i am the best.

P.S. I just cant stop what I do. I cannot change my nature for anyone so easily. So no use of explaining me not to expect. I just cannot 'can not expect'.

INcoming !!

So we have a new author in my blog.
Now it will be a shared blog.

Please welcome Palac Chhabra as a co-author of http://thatsmycollegelife.blogspot.in/



Palac Chhabra

Create Your Badge

 we write about anything and everything we feel like.
Its just a way to express things.

My co-author and i have allot in common.
Shes a great person.
We decided to write a common blog.

Lets see what we get out of it in future.

DELENA?

Some people might have guessed what this post is about (The title makes is quite obvious). These people are the ones who follow "The Vampire Diaries" commonly called TVD. And for those who don't follow it : PLEASE, this show is NOTHING like Twilight.No offence to the Twilight fans, but this show is much more than sparkling vampires and an expressionless girl.

Now, what has been bothering me is that every video, every song and every interview related to TVD that I watch has comments like "OMG! I looovvveee DELENA!" where Delena is a shorter version of Damon-Elena (Just like Saif-ena or Brad-elina). Again, for the non-TVD fans who have been kind enough to reach this, let me give you a brief intro. Damon is the super hot "Bad brother". He is selfish, doesn't value human life, kills for fun and good looking (way too good looking)! Stefan, on the other hand, is the "Good Brother". What the problem is, Is that both of them love the same girl, Elena, who is just pretty..umm not really. Anyway! My point is, that she is just a normal girl who met Stefan and they fell in love. Simple. But OBVIOUSLY, Damon loves her too! Who wouldn't see that coming :p. Eventually over the seasons, she starts loving Damon too. And the viewers seem to love it! Not 1, not 2, But everyone i know loves Delena! Personally, I love Damon. But Delena? I dont think so!

Sure Damon makes her feel alive and she loves the spontaneity blah blah bull****. No matter how much they try, I am simply not convinced! Some people think I'm crazy because i don't like Delena. But one of my friend thinks that it is because I relate myself to it. Maybe. Yeah i think he is right.Think about this. If you have a perfect guy in your life, who loves you, cares about you and would do anything for you, will you ever fall for a "Damon"? I wouldn't! Stefan is every girl's dream! The EPIC Love, The Perfect Guy! Why would you give him up? For a Damon who is adventurous? THAT is what girls of this generation do. Throw away a guy who treats her the way she should be treated for a guy who makes her feel "alive". Complete shit. So this is it. I dont like Delena! I would never leave a guy by judging him by one bad quality rather than a million good ones.

  Ankit Pal Singh

Create Your Badge

Home !

'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home'.
—John Howard Payne.

This is so true. I came back home after 2 weeks this time. I missed my home. I missed everyone this time.

I missed my mom. She is a supportive person. She has always guided me well in my life. She criticizes me when i over do something but everyone knows that criticism is the best way to success. She is very sensitive and takes everything around her as her responsibility and that too very very seriously. She called me everyday to tell me that she was missing me and every time making my eyes wet and my heart heavy. She came to pick me at the bus stop and i just couldn't stop admiring her. I wanted to hug her and kiss her and keep hugging her. I did all this as soon as i reached home.

I missed my dad. He is so concerned about me. He is very overprotective. He hates my careless mistakes and when i dont pay attention to something. He fulfills all my wishes and just wants me to stay happy. I made him cry once and i cant forgive my self ever for that. I desperately waited to reach home and hug him. I did the same.

I missed my sis. She is sooooo cute and such a kid. I love her so much that i miss her talks and the ways she irritates me almost each hour of every day. She says things and does things that make me smile and wonder how lucky i am to have such a great sis. I was yearning to spend some quality time with her and wanted to just listen her speaking and speaking about anything. She is the best critic in my life which is really pissing sometime but later eventually i thank her for everything. She is the best.

I missed my grandpa. He is old and fragile. Talking to him makes me cry sometimes. He is so week and he just wants me beside him. In last 10 days, he fell down twice due to imbalance and drowsiness. My heart came to my mouth when i came to know that. I just wanted to see him and show him that i am always there for him. He is week but i want him to always remember me. I hugged him as soon as i reached home and god knows how much i controlled myself from not crying.

Home is the only place where people actually care for you. Your family loves you and they look forward to you. No matter how much you suck, no matter what a hero you are, no matter if your friends hurt you, Your family will always love you the way you are. Never ever ever make them sad or hurt them, you will regret that later.

Whats going on ? What the hell people.

People can be good to you but people can be irritating as well. The truth is that others behave normally in their own fashion, its just you who interprets it in a good way or  a bad.

I have been irritated to quite an extent from past few days.

On special advice of a respectful person and the problem which was caused a few days back, I do not intend to criticize anyone by specifically mentioning about them bluntly.

With an awesome sense of humour, u always cheer my mood up and keep on listening and listening about the bullshit going on in my brain. You just speak anything and everything on face of a person. It hurts very very minutely but that’s your best part actually. You bring people in senses but everything in this world does not happen how u want it to happen. You do not study. You do not want to study. You wastes your time more than anyone else. WHY DO U DO THIS ?? Thats your worst part. You are hyper sometime, and you don’t know what u speak. You are a best bro but remember, the world and the things are not as easy as they seam to be. Dude please take life seriously.

This one is an old friend. Sometimes I don’t want you around me and sometimes you are a really cool person to share talks with. You have really modified yourself from that person which is known by many people. WHY ARE YOU SOOOO SENSETIVE ??. You think about people so much and get involved so much that you get irritated yourself so much that you mix your priorities and that’s what makes us wonder that whats wrong with you. You have been a good friend and we’ve spent some great time together. But you forget people when you don’t need them. This hurts and this sucks too. I still have a table talk pending with you. And I look forward to spend really sober 4 years without any grudges.

I came to know this person much better after spending so much time with him. He is a genuine person but he never forgets to be proud of himself. He boasts about himself and his stuff so much that it becomes really irritating sometime. He has been a prick recently but I have to spend allot of time with him intentionally or may be unintentionally. I think he wants people to remember him at every instant. He hates being ignored but that shouldn’t have been a reason to call someone else a dog in the manger.. He is really over possessive about people but that sucks big time. He said that I play gooseberry for which I will hate him for a long time.

They say that if you get along a person that matches your wavelength, you enjoy the most. I am experiencing this truth myself. I came to know so much about you in past few days. You just don’t expect things. I don’t know why. You lack a commitment which really sucks. Lacking commitment shows lack of strength and lack of confidence in you. You don’t get involved in people and their stuff and LET EVERYTHING FLOW which I really love but You speak some shitty things which really offends people. You don’t open up. You don’t let your thinking come out. You don’t express yourself which is a thing that you have to change. You are the best person to hang out with but you are a secret in yourself. I don’t know what you hide but “trust” is what makes every relationship strong so better you spit it out. You said that it “frustrates me and irritates me when I get close to someone” . I hate you for this. You said “I get bored with relations”. I wanted to slap you for this but you have your own bullshit reasons for the crap you say. Your wish to clarify this.

We all have the friends whom we can count on. I have two such people with me. Both of them think allot. Both of them are sensitive. Both of them talk sense. Both of them are trustworthy. Both of them takes things seriously.

She helps me in everything everytime. I respect her and she is the most sensible person in my group but sense is not the only thing that can make a person superior. You have to interact with people She has her own world which she keeps isolated. I still have to explore that what she is hiding. 

He is the guy who spends money allot, wastes time allot, thinks allot, talks senseless allot but the best part is that he is innocent. He cares for everyone and keeps us occupied. He gets provoked very easily and people manipulate him for themselves. He has a bad habit of partying and spending bucks too lightly as if he owns what he spends. He will regret that later.

The place where I sleep is the place where I get irritated the most as well as the place I laugh maximum. These guys don’t wanna study at all. They talk about stuff that does not matter, they speak when there is no need. I don’t know what there aim towards life is but a rotten apple spoils the whole basket is best seen at this place. I have the energy to tolerate them but I pray to god to give them some logic and some aim in their lives.

I have learnt not to care about people so much. So I don’t give a damn.

The Apology.

"Never Ruin an apology with an excuse" ~ Kimberly Johnson

I here by make no excuse.

I dont know what i do. I dont know why i care for people so much. I dont know why i expect things from people so much.

But i care for people and i dont want to hurt them.
I may have hurt-ed some of my very good friends in past few weeks. May it be by some talks or by some write-up.
I am sorry.
What can i say, I AM DUMB. I dont realize that i am hurting someone.

Who am I to hurt some one and write about some one. ??
Who am I to criticize people for what they do ??
I am a mess.
I need someone to tell and inform me that the thing i am doing is a kind of a criticism for some one and people get offended.

I apologize if i hurt u.
It wont be repeated.

The D' Factor. !!

The more i know a person, the more curious i become to know that person more.

I have spent so much time in college now and feel good to have such good friends. But some people outshine themselves from others. This one is about that person.

Wandering around with her friend having a cheerful face at every instant of time makes me wonder how happy are people in this world. HAHAHA. Yeah people are happy.

Her aura brings an automatic smile on faces of many people. I like talking to her. We dont have anything to talk about but the awkward silence is enough for me to observe her.

The eyes gleaming with confidence. With an attitude that is perfect for her personality she always greets with a smile. She speaks, listens, laughs and observes. By far, i have not come across any 'flaws' in this person.

We laugh, we chat and we roam about here and there in the college. But i dont know what to next. I am blank. I dont know what to talk to her. So, in order to curtail the awkward silence, i have to say bye and leave them alone.

So what's next ? I have no idea.

How about coffee ?. I thought that it would be a vague idea to ask some one who i really admire for coffee. I thought that it would be a really vague idea to ask some one who doesn't know anything about me for coffee. So my decision became firm and i did ask her out for coffee.

I got a 'NO' with a 'sorry' first. But later it became a 'YES' on a condition that her friend will accompany and that no one will go out of the university campus.

I dont know how will that go but i hope for the good.

The MindSet.

Whatever i do, i cant stop my brain to think about things. I cant control my brain for finding logic and reasons of 'WHY I SHOULD MITIGATE THE D' FACTOR.'

I thought and thought. And the thoughts resulted in a suggestion to minimize the D' Factor inside me. 

I had so many reasons to keep admiring this such an awesome girl, but all these reasons had to forfeit in front of the logics given by brain.

The Brain always overpowers the Heart. "ALWAYS".

Concluding the debate of logics, i found that she doesn't give a damn. She has her own life and not even minutest interest in my existence. She has her own interests, everyone has, and i duly respect that, but getting ignored is not my cup of tea. So i think i might control the D' Factor and eventually remove it. 

Its perfectly normal to keep going the things as they are, but removal of D' Factor would definitely make me comfortable.

And about the coffee, I will go for that short trip but as a new thinking and a changed mindset. "Just friends" haha.

This might be too early for a decision but how would I know that I am making a mistake, until I take risk to do that. But everything happens for good. Lets watch whats good in this.